Something happened to me back in October of 2007, but I have been reluctant and forgetful to write about it. Even now, I am not particularly moved to write, but it feels right, and will probably help someone, so here goes.
In October 2007, at a Men’s Retreat, I had, what I believe, was a glimpse through the veil that separates the world we live in and that invisible world all around us. I saw what I believed to be demons.
Let me say that though the Bible speaks much about the demonic world, and about Satan himself, there is much that the Bible doesn’t say. I want to qualify my experience by saying this: it was MY experience, and I have to interpret it through what the Bible says. The Bible doesn’t speak exhaustively on the subject of demons, so some of what I will share here is subjective, and nothing more than MY interpretation of what happened.
Men from five Calvary Chapels had gathered together to study the life of King David. On Saturday night, Pastor Ross Reinman of CC Sebastapol was teaching a great study on David’s sin with Bathsheba. His teaching included, of course, the topic of sexual sin, sexual lust, and the consequences of immorality. Ross had asked for the Saturday night slot, explaining that he had a lot to say. He spoke for quite some time, but it did not seem like a long time. The teaching was solid, and since the topic of sexual temptation is familiar to most men, he had our collective attention.
I was sitting in the front row, and Ross was in front of me and slightly to my left. The old wood frame chapel has windows along the sides, and through those windows, to my right, something caught my attention. I only saw it with my peripheral vision. At first I thought I had seen a bird, or a bat outside the window, fluttering around in the shadows. I turned my head, and there was nothing there.
Ross continued teaching, and I listening, and then there it was again. I was sure that I had seen something. It was more than just a shadow, but less than something material. I wondered if I was seeing a glare or a shadow on the window, caused by Ross’ movements and the lights shining on him, but the angle of the lights were all wrong for that. Besides, what I was seeing appeared to be very dark, even black, and not bright, like a reflection.
This happened about four or five times, and then suddenly it hit me. I believed that the Lord was showing me that the Enemy was just outside the chapel. Truly, a cold chill gripped me, my heart rate increased, and I became alarmed, even frightened. My hands got clammy, and my mouth turned dry. I know in my head that Jesus can defeat any demonic being or beings, but I am not ashamed to tell you that I was frightened. The Lord of Hosts is my Savior, but I had just gotten a fresh glimpse of the Enemy.
I was suddenly aware of evil, wickedness, and hatred. May I say, it was PERFECT hatred. It was the fullness of evil. I felt as though the entities just a few feet from me were like rabid, vicious dogs, being held back by a Hand more powerful than they. I felt that these entities were furious about the solid teaching that was being brought forth regarding sexual sin. That their work, their influence, and their grip on some of the men in the room was being broken by the candid and powerful teaching of God’s Word.
I believed that they wanted to stop the teaching, disrupt the meeting, and have the men moved away from what was going on, but they were being restrained. I felt the tension, I experienced the battle, and I was closer to the action than I wanted to be.
As soon as Ross finished, I stood to address the men. I was nervous, frightened, rattled, and stumbling over my words. I am not even sure that I made much sense, but the men could tell that something had just happened to me, and I was trying to share it with them.
I told them of my experience, and my interpretation of it. I wanted them to remember that we as men, are in a spiritual battle, and that we live in a world full of sexual temptation. I shared with them that I believed that God had allowed me to see what I saw in order to show me how intense the battle was in some of their lives. I believed that as Ross taught, God was wanting to break strongholds, and patterns of sin that some of them were bound up in.
I felt that the Enemy HATED what was going on in that chapel, and that he couldn’t resist fighting against the work of God. It was almost as though the demons accidentally manifested their presence for a moment, since they were so incensed at the teaching that was going on. They let themselves be seen, and I had seen them. What I saw alarmed me, and now I had to sound the trumpet to the other men.
I went home that Saturday night, needing to be at church the next day for Sunday service. It was a weird drive home. I was sure what I had seen, and to this day, still believe that I saw some of the hosts of darkness. I also believe that the Lord only pulled back one small corner of the veil that separates the visible and invisible worlds. That was fine with me. I had seen enough.
I have had similar experiences only two other times, both times being when we lived in Orange County. Neither of those times alarmed me like this experience did.
Very simply, the Lord reminded me that we are in a spiritual war, and the Enemy of our souls is a vicious, perfectly wicked foe. I was also reminded of the all encompassing, comprehensive grace and power of God. How many times has the Enemy tried to hurt me, stumble me, and even physically kill me? How many times has Jesus defended me, protected me, and rescued me? I’ll never know in this life, but I will most certainly know in the next.
The experience sobered me, made me hate sin more, and love Jesus more. How good it is to have Him as my Shepherd and Lord.
Brothers and sisters, we know it in our heads, but we also need to know it in our hearts, and act upon the words of Paul…take up the whole armor of God and stand.
Blessings…
Ephesians 6:10-13 Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. 11 Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. 12 For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,[c] against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
A powerful reminder, Bill, of the malevolent darkness that is waiting to destroy men’s lives. Shades of Peretti! I also know that you have had revelation of the blinding whiteness of the Spirit’s light that bids the darkness flee.
Thank you for sharing Bill, may the body be reminded to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and indeed put on the whole armor of God. There indeed are spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly realms, and I like you, don’t want to see them; but I also do not want to ignore their wicked schemes to rob, kill and destroy. Lord help us to walk in Your ways and as children of the light, putting away, the unfruitful works of darkness.
Thanks for your post Bill. This was a very timely reminder. Too often I forget that I’m in a war against Satan and his demons and I get comfortable and that’s often when I’ll fall. Thanks again for listening to the Spirit and posting this. I know I needed to read it.